Yesterday, I opened up to my husband...
I opened up about how he most of the time, cancels all the "dates" I plan and promise to reschedule it to some other day, 'coz he is really tired, or something comes up with our friends, then here comes the day again, which eventually gets cancelled again, over and over again until it never pushes through. Yes, that happened.
Also, there are times when I ask him if we could go somewhere, go on out-of-town trips together, discover new places together... somewhere where we could have each other on to ourselves - without the company of friends. Well, that I have yet to wait to happen. I feel like he doesn't want to be with me... am I boring? Am I not fun to be with? Well... Why did he choose to marry me anyway? Or is it just because he is not that kind of person?
Apparently, he apologized for the kind of attitude. But I still have to wait, whether there will be any improvement.
However, there is still one issue I never got to discuss with him 'coz I don't want to discuss it with him at all.
He and his two best buddies formed a group message in Facebook. I accidentally opened this "chat room" one day and discovered they share few photos of a girl we all know through a community. I don't what they are up to, I don't know why. Our friends say it is just a way of making fun of each other, but oh no, wait... two of them are married! Why still do that kind of stuff?
I didn't want to discuss it with him so I just settled with our girlfriends, eventually I just laughed it off. But at the end of the day, I still have this heavy feeling. Paranoid? Nagger? Controlling?
So I pray...
Dear Lord, thank you for blessing me with my husband. Thank you for all the things that we've shared together - blessings, graces, trials, struggles, good times and bad times. Thank you for choosing him to be the person who will complete me and complement me, and be by my side in every phase of our life. Lord, I know most of the times, we tend to forget You, that's why I am asking for your grace that we may be able to make You the center of our relationship. Oh dear Father, send us your Holy Spirit to guide us and bless us the wisdom and discernment, that we may not think of each other with something negative, something that can harm our marriage. Lord, as your Scripture said... "Find Rest, O My Soul, In God alone," I know it is you alone who can touch our heart and mind, it is You alone who can help us to appreciate all the small things that my husband do for us, for our relationship. It is You alone who can give peace in our hearts. Lord, I want to trust. I don't want to be controlling. I want to be more trusting, patient, more forgiving and understanding. Lord, mold me and use me to show my husband how a marriage should be, eventually making him lead, making him be the family man is ought to be. Our dear Father, I ask you to take away all the negative feelings inside my heart, the insecurities, the doubts, the fears, worries... and replace them with peace, faith in You, trust, joy and love - the same love that you have for us. Teach us to love more, oh Heavenly Father. All this I pray, in the might name of your Son, Jesus, Amen.
I opened up about how he most of the time, cancels all the "dates" I plan and promise to reschedule it to some other day, 'coz he is really tired, or something comes up with our friends, then here comes the day again, which eventually gets cancelled again, over and over again until it never pushes through. Yes, that happened.
Also, there are times when I ask him if we could go somewhere, go on out-of-town trips together, discover new places together... somewhere where we could have each other on to ourselves - without the company of friends. Well, that I have yet to wait to happen. I feel like he doesn't want to be with me... am I boring? Am I not fun to be with? Well... Why did he choose to marry me anyway? Or is it just because he is not that kind of person?
Apparently, he apologized for the kind of attitude. But I still have to wait, whether there will be any improvement.
However, there is still one issue I never got to discuss with him 'coz I don't want to discuss it with him at all.
He and his two best buddies formed a group message in Facebook. I accidentally opened this "chat room" one day and discovered they share few photos of a girl we all know through a community. I don't what they are up to, I don't know why. Our friends say it is just a way of making fun of each other, but oh no, wait... two of them are married! Why still do that kind of stuff?
I didn't want to discuss it with him so I just settled with our girlfriends, eventually I just laughed it off. But at the end of the day, I still have this heavy feeling. Paranoid? Nagger? Controlling?
So I pray...
Dear Lord, thank you for blessing me with my husband. Thank you for all the things that we've shared together - blessings, graces, trials, struggles, good times and bad times. Thank you for choosing him to be the person who will complete me and complement me, and be by my side in every phase of our life. Lord, I know most of the times, we tend to forget You, that's why I am asking for your grace that we may be able to make You the center of our relationship. Oh dear Father, send us your Holy Spirit to guide us and bless us the wisdom and discernment, that we may not think of each other with something negative, something that can harm our marriage. Lord, as your Scripture said... "Find Rest, O My Soul, In God alone," I know it is you alone who can touch our heart and mind, it is You alone who can help us to appreciate all the small things that my husband do for us, for our relationship. It is You alone who can give peace in our hearts. Lord, I want to trust. I don't want to be controlling. I want to be more trusting, patient, more forgiving and understanding. Lord, mold me and use me to show my husband how a marriage should be, eventually making him lead, making him be the family man is ought to be. Our dear Father, I ask you to take away all the negative feelings inside my heart, the insecurities, the doubts, the fears, worries... and replace them with peace, faith in You, trust, joy and love - the same love that you have for us. Teach us to love more, oh Heavenly Father. All this I pray, in the might name of your Son, Jesus, Amen.
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